“You are NOT a problem. You are a person”
Yes, you may have been called a “problem child” as a kid.
Yes, you may have been referred to as a “problem” occasionally – in a particular context – and were proud of it (anyone else in this club?) …
And yes, you may sometimes FEEL like a problem. Or “the problem”.
But be careful of taking counsel from your feelings.
Feelings lie …
Heck, you may even find that you were – or are – the problem, in a particular context, in a particular project, or … in a particular relationship.
At a particular time.
You may be THE problem. But you are NOT A PROBLEM.
Here’s the thing.
Being the problem – at any one moment in time – means that you can change that.
As soon as you realize you’re the one being difficult, the one standing in the way of compromise, or instigating a conflict, you can make the adjustment.
You can change the approach, change your tone, or change a behavior.
On the other hand,
“You are a problem” – as a statement, whether in your mind, or directed by others – assaults your identity.
It essentializes you as a problem – or a problematic person – by definition.
It paints you as “essentially” problematic.
You should never take your identity from a negative feeling.
Instead, anchor your identity in the positive aspects of your attributes, and of your wealth matrix.
What’s your “wealth matrix”?
I plan to go more in-depth into the “wealth matrix” concept in a later post. For now, let’s say it’s the collection of relationship and resources (internal and intersectional) associated uniquely with you as an individual.
So taking your identity from your wealth matrix is a bit of a circular, chicken and egg, concept.
It’s unclear which comes first.
But what does it matter. It affirms you. It doesn’t bring you down.
Till next time,